I'll Always Find My Way Back To You
by follow-ur-dreams
Summary: “Can’t stand the thought! Matt, how do you think I would feel! What, that I’d cry for a few days, be depressed for a week or two, and then what? Magically get over it!” The possibilities of Borderline haunt Emily. MattEmily, as always :P


**A/N – I actually started writing another chapter for my first Standoff fic, but then I got to a part of it that I felt wasn't really right for that story, so I thought I'd make a new one. It's set a couple months after Borderline. Hope you all like it!**

**_Always Find My Way Back To You_**

"Emily, this is driving me insane, it's been driving me insane for months," Matt told his girlfriend as they sat on the lounge in his apartment, with an almost empty pizza box in front of them.

"What is?" Emily asked him, taking a mouthful of her beer before closing the lid of the pizza box and turning back around to face him.

"You know what. Why won't you just tell me?"

She turned away from him, picking up a piece of pepperoni that had somehow made its way to the floor. "I told you that night."

"Em, come on. When we were stuck in that warehouse with Felix, and you said you wanted to tell me something, which apparently turned out to be thanks, that wasn't what you were going to say."

Emily sighed, "If you're so sure that you do know what I was going to say why do I have to tell you?" She asked, looking at him quickly before deciding to focus on her jeans.

He gently lifted her chin up so that she was looking at him. "I want to hear you say it."

"I say it to you all the time."

"This is different. I want to know that the last thing you were going to say to me before we died wasn't going to be 'thanks'."

"We didn't die."

"You know what I mean."

Emily sighed, of course she knew what he meant. "Fine, I was going to say I love you, ok? I didn't want one or both of us to die without you knowing that."

Matt was startled to see that Emily's eyes were becoming increasingly glassy with unshed tears. "Emily, honey, don't cry, please don't cry, I'm sorry I brought it up, it was a stupid question to ask," he told her, pulling her into his lap and holding her tightly. He mentally hit himself for being so stupid. She obviously didn't want to talk about that horrific day, she had been dodging every attempt Matt had made at asking her that question for the past few months.

Emily buried her face into Matt's chest, cherishing the feeling of his arms around her, a feeling she was almost sure she would never have felt again. She had never realised just how much she loved Matt before that moment, and that scared the hell out of her. She knew there was a high possibility that they could both die, and that scared the hell out of her too, but the thought that scared her the most was that she might have been left alone. Matt could have died, he really could have died, and she would have been all alone. "I can't live without you," she said softly in between her soft sobs, but loud enough for Matt to hear.

He froze momentarily as the meaning of her words soaked through him. That's what it was all about, not that they were both in danger and could both die at any moment, but that if he died, she wouldn't know what to do. He felt an irrational guilt at being the cause of Emily's distress, and not knowing what else to say, offered a simple apology. "Em, I'm so sorry."

Emily shook her head, "No, it's not your fault. I know that you're always here for me, that you wouldn't leave me by choice. But if I had lived and you had died, if that ever happens, Matt, I'd want to die too," she told him tearfully, her voice breaking slightly.

"No, Emily don't say that, don't ever say that," he told her sternly, running one hand through her hair as his other hand gripped her shoulder. "Your right, I would never leave you willingly, never. But I can't stand the thought of you being miserable because I'm gone either…" Matt trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Can't stand the thought?! Matt, how do you think I would feel?! What, that I'd cry for a few days, be depressed for a week or two, and then what? Magically get over it?!" Emily asked angrily, getting up from Matt's lap to stand in front of him, looking down at him while tears escaped from her eyes in utter sadness, desperate fear and the new found anger coursing through her veins. She knew the anger was irrational, that she should not be angry that Matt didn't want her to be upset, but how dare he think that she could get over him so easily! How dare he think she would just accept it if he died!

"Emily," Matt said gently, standing up from the couch and placing his hands on her shoulders before she jerked backwards and out of his grasp. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, he had been unprepared for the sudden anger Emily felt, and wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it.

"How would you feel if I died Matt? Would you move on and be happy?!" she asked him, raising her voice slightly to get the point across.

The point Emily was trying to make was received loud and clear by Matt, who knew that he would want to die if Emily was ever taken away from him, just as she said she would if he was taken away from her. "No," he told her honestly, "I'd want to die."

Emily looked at him for a moment, before falling to her knees on the floor of Matt's apartment as she broke down, sobs racking her body as she took short, sharp breaths of air. Matt ran to her immediately, tears making his way down her face at seeing the love of his life in such despair, at thinking about a life without the beautiful woman he knew he could not live without. "Baby, please, please don't cry," he said softly, holding her tightly in his arms as they cried together on the floor.

"Matt, please don't leave me," she begged of him, clutching onto his shirt as if he would collapse in her arms if she let go. "I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be here without you. You mean the world to me, I can't imagine a life without you in it."

"Em," he said softly, gently removing himself from her slightly so that he was able to look into her eyes. "I'm never going to leave you, do you understand? Never. No matter what happens, I will fight to come back to you. You're the most important person in my life, no one can take me away from you. We've been in bad situations before Em, we always find out way back to each other. I'll always find my way back to you," he told her sweetly, moving a strand of her hair behind her ear before kissing her softly.

"I love you so much," she told him, leaning her forehead against his.

"I know. I love you too. More than anything," he replied, wiping a few tears from her cheeks with his thumb.

Emily looked down and laughed bitterly, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm being such a baby about this."

"You're not being a baby," he told her, stroking her cheek gently.

"I'm crying like one," she replied, offering him a small smile.

"It's over a good cause," he joked, smiling when Emily laughed at him and kissed him softly on the lips. "Besides," he continued, "I cried too," he said with a laugh.

Emily smiled, "You did too. Come on," she told him, standing up and taking his hand in hers.

"Where are we going?" he asked in confusion, allowing Emily to lead him in the right direction.

Emily grinned, "I think it's time for you to show me how much you love me."

Matt returned the grin, releasing his grip on Emily's hand and scooping her into his arms, "I think it is too."

**A/N – I know it's a bit short, but I didn't want to drag it on for no reason. Thanks for reading, please leave me a review! The number of Standoff fics is increasing every day which is awesome! I'm also writing another chapter of my first fic, 'Girlfriend, Partner, Love of my Life', so check that out soon! Matt and Emily rock!**


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